I know a lot of you here in California are disappointed because many of the beaches are going to be closed for the 4th of July weekend. Public officials are afraid that if people are allowed to go to the beach, the corona virus will spread. But don’t worry, I have a tip that will get your holiday plans back on track. All you have to do is protest something. As long as you’re protesting something, you can break the law without penalty and, miraculously, you’ll be protected from the virus.
Sure, the beach will be closed but city streets are also closed to pedestrian traffic. Since protesters can jaywalk at will and even shut down major highways without repercussion, you should be OK spending a day at the beach. Just make sure you’re protesting something. And don’t worry about social distancing or wearing a mask either. We’ve been told that, as long as you’re protesting something, the corona virus won’t bother you. Well, technically, we’ve been told that the impact of thousands of people jammed shoulder-to-shoulder on city streets has no impact on the infection rate. By that reasoning, enjoying a beautiful day at the beach with your family should also have no impact.
But, here’s the important thing. To be allowed to break the law and to make sure the corona virus will ignore you, you can’t be protesting just anything. You have to be protesting something that doesn’t actually exist and can’t be supported by the facts.
So, please be careful. If you choose to protest something that is real and can be backed up by data, you could go to jail. Even worse, the virus will know. And it will get you.
