Apparently, there are an unlimited number of genders. People can now just make up a gender and then expect that everyone should refer to them by that determination.
But, having “non-binary” genders in addition to man and woman causes a problem. For those people who don’t believe they’re either a man or a woman, pronouns like “he” or “she” don’t work. People are not only allowed to make up a gender that they “identify” with, they can also decide which pronouns other people must use when talking to them or referring to them.
So, we’re all expected to find out what pronouns they prefer and use those pronouns when we’re talking to other people about them. According to the rules, if you don’t use their pronoun preference, they can feel disrespected, invalidated, dismissed, alienated or anxious. Furthermore, if you identify as being “he” or “she” then you are considered to be “privileged”. By not using someone else’s pronoun choice, you are oppressing them.
I’ll admit, at first, I thought this notion was a bit crazy. But lately, I’ve begun to embrace it. I sort of like the idea of making everyone responsible for how I feel. I think I’d like making everyone except myself in charge of whether or not my feelings get hurt.
I don’t quite yet know what my gender identity is. I’m still working through that. I’m thinking that I might identify as a “thunp”. I like the way it just rolls off of your tongue in a nearly-impossible-to-pronounce sort of way.
But I’ve already figured out what pronouns I prefer. When talking to me or about me, I expect you to use the following:
- Instead of using “he/she”, use “flerp”.
- Instead of “him/her”, use “flop”.
- Instead of “his/her”, use “floop”.
- Instead of “his/hers”, use “floops”.
- Instead of “himself/herself, use “floopself”.
Let me give you some examples of how this would work:
- Instead of: “I saw Mike yesterday. He was at the store.”, use this: “I saw Mike yesterday. Flerp was at the store.”
- Instead of “Yeah, I saw him at the store yesterday.”, use this: “Yeah, I saw flop at the store yesterday.”
- Instead of: “That’s his car.”, use this: “That’s floop car.”
- Instead of: “That car is his.”, use this: “That car is floops.”
- Instead of: “Mike can do it himself.”, use this: “Mike can do it floopself.”
Easy right? But, according to the rules, now that I’ve made you aware of my preference, you have to use them whenever you refer to me. Doing anything else is disrespectful and may trigger me. And that might make me feel bad.
If you’re one of those people who prescribe to this, I’m going to fill you in on a little secret. You’re not as important as you think you are. I’m not even going to remember your name for more than 20 seconds after we’ve met. What makes you think that I’m going to bother to remember your pronouns? Now, don’t take it personally, I don’t remember anyone’s name. But I will admit that I’m not even going to try to remember your pronoun preference. Because doing so would be ridiculous.
Feel free to call me whatever you want. You won’t hurt my feelings. I guarantee I’ve been called worse.
