There used to be a comedian named Foster Brooks. He called himself “the lovable lush”. His shtick was that he pretended to be drunk. Of course, back then smoking and drinking was allowed on TV so it’s quite possible it wasn’t an act and that he was actually intoxicated while performing. It was also back when comics honed their craft and didn’t rely on obscenities as a punchline.
Back in the 70’s, people weren’t offended about everything. Well, they might have been, but we hadn’t yet reached the point where everyone else is responsible for their feelings. These days, Foster Brooks wouldn’t be able to perform his act. He’d likely be accused of “drunk shaming” or some other thing equally as silly. And he certainly wouldn’t be able to tell Polish jokes because those are now considered offensive while songs like “WAP” are considered to be “art”.
But I digress.
Foster Brooks told a story about his brother-in-law being the first astronaut of Polish descent. The joke goes something like this:
B-I-L: “The United States is going to build a new space ship that will take two astronauts on a trip to the sun and back. And, I’m going to be one of them.”
Foster: “Are you nuts? You’ve got to be out of your mind! You’ll burn up before you get half-way there!”
B-I-L: “No we won’t. We’re going at night.”
When I saw the video of Merrick Garland testifying at his confirmation hearing for U.S. Attorney General, I was reminded of this story. Mr. Garland was asked if he believed that the assaults on Federal properties in Portland (by ANTIFA and BLM) to be acts of domestic terrorism. His reply? He didn’t believe the burning of Federal properties in Portland would be considered to be “domestic terrorism” because the acts happened at night.
Yup. His reply was slightly longer than how I related it but the gist is the same. Since the buildings were torched at night, ANTIFA isn’t a domestic terrorist organization.
And this guy is being seriously considered for the top law enforcement position in the land. Holy shit.
The question was pretty specific and referred to attacks on Federal properties. But, he should have responded that the problem is bigger than just burning Federal properties. He should have said that yes, ANTIFA/BLM has been terrorizing the citizens of Portland for nearly a year. He should have said that ANTIFA/BLM have destroyed the businesses and livelihoods of hundreds of people in downtown Portland. He should have said that going into neighborhoods and demanded that people give up their homes as reparation for their “white privilege” is an obvious act of terrorism.
He should have declared ANTIFA/BLM to be a domestic terror organization.
But he didn’t. Being a lawyer, he answered the question presented to him. Being an idiot, he claimed that right and wrong can be determined by the position of the sun in the sky.
If this clown gets confirmed, we’re going to be in a world of trouble. Because he obviously has no grasp on what’s really happening in Portland. If he’s sworn in as Attorney General, I can easily imagine this conversation happening in cities all across the United States:
ANTIFA/BLM Leader: “Hey, let’s go burn a bunch of buildings, spread graffiti everywhere, loot the new Target, intimidate people eating in restaurants, shoot projectiles at police, beat up old people, and cause violence and mayhem wherever we go!”
ANTIFA/BLM Follower: “Are you nuts? You’ve got to be out of your mind! If we do all that, the Feds will be all over us. If we get caught, we’ll be charged with some serious crimes. We’ll be convicted of domestic terrorism and be sent to prison for 10 years!”
ANTIFA/BLM Leader: “No we won’t. We’re going at night.”
