I think I might just be the unluckiest SOB on the planet. Here’s my situation…
I give blood whenever I can, and the Red Cross tests all donated blood for COVID-19 antibodies. Each time I give blood, I eagerly wait for the results of my latest antibody test. And each time it comes back negative.
You see, I haven’t had so much as a sniffle since the last time I gave blood and I really want to write an article about how I had COVID-19 and didn’t even know it. But I just can’t seem to catch the damn disease.
It’s not like I haven’t tried.
I don’t own any hand sanitizer and don’t wash my hands any more than usual. I grab whatever non-sanitized shopping cart I happen to be passing by in the parking lot. I only wear a mask when I’m forced to do so, which means I don’t wear one when walking the dog or riding my bike. And, I don’t wear a mask when I drive by myself in my own car (I thought that would do it for sure).
When I am forced to wear a mask, I pull it away from my mouth and nose with my thumb so I can breathe in the unclean air around me. I’m constantly touching my face and rubbing my eyes because those are supposed to be two of the riskiest things to do.
I’ve even done the one thing that is supposed to guarantee that I catch COVID-19, I’ve shaken people’s hands without immediately slathering my own hands with the sanitizer that I don’t own.
Like I said, I am one unlucky son-of-a-bitch.
It’s difficult to come up with something to write about that everyone else hasn’t talked about. So, I thought that writing about for sure having the disease, and not knowing it, would be a fresh take on the topic. Just testing positive for sniffing in a few virus molecules wouldn’t be unique enough because hundreds of millions of people have already done that. I’m talking about actually having had the disease without any symptoms, which a positive antibody test would confirm.
But, try as I might, I just can’t catch COVID-19. Dammit!
I’m not doing anything to protect myself from catching a disease we’ve been told is easier to catch than a dead cat.
So, either I’m the unluckiest son-of-a-bitch in the world because I can’t catch a disease that’s infecting everyone else, or I’m the luckiest son-of-a-bitch because I’m not catching a disease that is incredibly contagious.
Or, maybe the virus isn’t quite as dangerous as they’ve been trying to lead us all to believe.
It’s crazy that I still haven’t been infected. Maybe I just have bad genes.
<sigh> I’ll try again tomorrow.
