Since we’re seeing an unprecedented number of “noncitizens” entering out country, I thought it might be handy to give them a quick lesson on three essential words. Especially since they’ll be using them a lot after they’ve been “integrated” into our welfare system.
The three words are: dumbass, smartass and asshole. No one is formally taught the nuances of their use, but everyone fluent in English instinctively knows how and when to use each word. However, someone who has English as their second language might not quite understand how to use which word in a particular situation.
So, I’ve come up with an short ESL study plan to help in the integration process of our noncitizens. To make this even easier and more convenient, I’ve broken it into three bite-sized lessons so you can study at your own pace.
Here we go:
Lesson 1 – Dumbass
If you hear someone claiming that racist white cops are hunting unarmed, innocent black men, that person is a dumbass. Dumbasses aren’t smart enough to think for themselves, so they simply repeat the same ignorant stuff that they hear other people say. They’re simply too dumb to understand they’re being led astray by a false narrative. The terms “dumbass” and “idiot” can be used interchangeably.
Lesson 2 – Smartass
A smart-ass is a dumbass who thinks they’re clever, but they’re really not. Take, for example, CNN’s Chris Cuomo. When he said that changes to policing will only happen when “white people’s kids start getting killed”, he was being a smartass. He wasn’t adding any value. He was just trying to show everyone how smart he thinks he is. He is a dumbass with an overinflated opinion of himself. He took his dumbassedness and used it in a smartassed way. When describing a smartass, people will often use the term “stupid idiot”.
Lesson 3 – Asshole
According to Merriam-Webster, an asshole is “a stupid, annoying or detestable person”. A great example of this is LeBron James. He recently tweeted to his 50 million followers a picture of the police officer who shot and killed knife-wielding Ma’Khia Bryant before she could kill the person she was attacking. He included the caption “YOU’RE NEXT #ACCOUNTABILITY” and hourglass emoji.
His tweet was a call to action for his 50 million followers. He judged the officer as guilty before having any of the facts, and put him and his family in grave danger. LeBron James apparently doesn’t believe in “innocent until proven guilty”. Because he’s an asshole.
LeBron clearly fits the classical definition of an asshole. He is a stupid, annoying and detestable person. Another term that can be used to describe an asshole, including LeBron James, is “fucking idiot”.
In summary…
A person is a dumbass because of their ignorance. They become a smartass because of what they say. And, they become an asshole because of what they do.
The only difference between a dumbass, a smartass and an asshole is intent. Everyone is born a dumbass. But people become smartasses and assholes as a result of their actions. I think it’s safe to say that all of us have been a dumbass, smartass and asshole at some point in our lives.
But, being the overachiever that he is, LeBron James has shown his true character and hit the assedness trifecta by being a dumbass, smartass and asshole all at the same time.
Related Article:
The Wisdom of King James
