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Update: I wrote this back in July. CNN published an article this week claiming that the COVID vackseens reduce the chance of dying from anything. When you write on current events like I do, not everything stays relevant for long. This one still has legs. Enjoy.
People have been getting vacksinated against COVID for over six months. It seems like every day there’s a new “unfortunate adverse reaction” caused by the drugs. People who take the injection often experience massive blood clots, memory fog, heart problems, fever, chills, general malaise and paralysis, just to name a few.
You know, little things like that. Oh yeah, I forgot about death. Sometimes you get injected with a COVID vackseen and you die.
The COVID vackseens only seem to have negative side effects. Why aren’t there any good ones?
Nearly four billion doses of the COVID vackseens have been administered worldwide. Don’t you think that at least one person should have a fortunate, advantageous reaction? Shouldn’t there be at least one guy who had a reaction to the drug that was something people would look forward to?
It’s not like it hasn’t happened before.
Sildenafil was invented by Pfizer in the late 1980’s and was being tested as a treatment for heart-related chest pain. After the trials were complete, some test subjects asked if they could get a private supply of the drug.
You see, the male testers had discovered a fortunate side effect of Sildenafil. It helped them get a boner.
That’s what I’m talkin’ about.
You probably know Sildenafil by the brand name “Viagra”. Viagra has become one of the best-selling drugs of all time, if not THE best-selling drug of all time. And not one person is being forced to take it.
But that’s not the case with the vackseens. There haven’t been any advantageous reactions. Every single unexpected reaction to the drugs is potentially dangerous and/or fatal. The result is that instead of everyone begging for a dose, there are a lot of people that aren’t willing to take the drugs at all. Even when they’re free.
Do you know why there are so many “vackseen hesitant” people? It’s because there’s nothing in it for us. We’re supposed to take a drug that will provide us with no practical benefit, but comes with an entire list of potentially deadly side effects.
I’m not willing to take a drug that I probably don’t need when taking it could possibly maim or kill me. I don’t believe it’s worth the risk.
Oh sure, the government, Big Pharma and my “I ate the apple so you should eat it too” friends will tell me that the risk of serious complications is extremely low. But in my opinion, the risk is still too high.
It’s been claimed that the virus that causes COVID is the result of “gain of function” research. That may or may not be true, but the claim holds the solution to getting more people to volunteer to be injected.
Make it a “gain of function” drug.
They’re experimental drugs already, so what’s the harm with making them slightly more experimental? Instead of making drugs that only have adverse reactions, I say we should develop COVID vackseens that have the potential to give people an ability they actually want. Like a superpower.
It’s like one of those “Vax for the Win” lotteries. Except in this case, there’s a one in a billion chance that you’d gain the ability to leap tall buildings with a single bound.
If there were a chance that being injected with a COVID vackseen might give me honest-to-God superpowers, I might just take it. The possibility of developing ESP, telekinesis, perfect memory or super strength would be, for me anyway, too great to resist.
As it stands, being injected with one of their experimental drugs may, best case, turn me into “Forgetful Man” or “Blood Clot Dude” or even “Heart Failure Boy”. Or maybe it just temporarily turns me into “Too Sick to Get Out of Bed for Days Man”. Or, worst case, it turns me into dead.
If the probability of developing a superpower is at least as good as the likelihood that the injection will kill me, I’d be willing to take the risk. Because there would potentially be an enormous upside in it for me.
If the COVID vackseens were “gain of function” drugs instead of “adverse reaction” drugs, being injected might give me an ability I didn’t already have. Instead of developing heart problems, maybe I’d develop superpowers.
I might become “COVID-MAN”.
But they’re not, and I won’t. So you can keep your damn experimental drugs.
