I keep hoping that Biden’s obvious ineptitude is just a ruse, and part of a master plan. A plan that includes lulling our enemies into a false sense of security, and forcing them to underestimate us at their own peril.
So, when I watched what happened in Afghanistan over the past few days, I thought that maybe this is part of Biden’s brilliant plan to finally take out the Taliban once and for all.
If I were going to create a plan for defeating the Taliban, it would look something like this:
Step 1: Find the Taliban
Step 2: Blow them to smithereens
That looks like a pretty good plan. I wish I could say it’s my original idea. But it’s not. If it seems familiar, that’s because it’s the same plan we’ve been following for the last 20 years or so. It’s simple. So simple even someone with half a brain could follow it. Right?
You might think so, but you’d be wrong.
For years, we’ve heard that the Taliban are difficult to defeat because they’ve hidden themselves in bunkers buried deep beneath the Afghan mountains. So, we played the Afghan equivalent of whack-a-mole. Whenever one of the Taliban poked his head above the sand, we’d smack him with a drone.
But that didn’t happen very often because the Taliban are clever bastards and quickly realized that’s what was going on. So, they stayed hidden.
The problem over the last two decades hasn’t been Step 2. We’re really good at blowing shit up. What we needed was a better Step 1.
As I watched the events unfold over the past week, I saw the Taliban emerge from their caves and quickly take over the country. I thought to myself, “this could be the most brilliant military strategy since the Trojan Horse”. As the U.S. forces withdrew, every member of the Taliban, nearly simultaneously, emerged from where they’d been hiding.
That’s great news! Joe has accomplished Step 1. The Taliban have come out of their hidey-holes. They’ve all poked their heads out of the sand. We know where they are. Everyone in the world knows where they are. We can see them on live TV for crying out loud.
I thought to myself, “could it be that Joe Biden will accomplish something that both the U.S. and Russia had been trying to do for over 40 years?”
Sooo…Step 2? That’s going to start any time now. Right?
Nope. Unfortunately, Joe isn’t brilliant. Joe is just Joe. And he appears to have forgotten the most important half of the two-step plan. He forgot Step 2.
Because of the brilliance of Joe’s Step 1, for the first time in history, most of the Taliban was exposed and vulnerable at the same time.
It was time to blow the Taliban to smithereens. So, why didn’t we?
Why didn’t we bomb the shit out of the presidential palace when the entirety of the Taliban leadership was sitting inside it declaring victory?
Why didn’t we booby-trap anything we left behind? The images of Taliban fighters holding American-made weapons are ridiculous. Those drones all have self-destruct systems. Right? Why the hell weren’t they all self-destructed during the photo op?
No one can convince me that we don’t still have other drones flying over the country and that we didn’t know exactly when to pull the trigger. But that didn’t happen.
We clearly had the capability to watch from above as the Taliban “army” drove their beat-up Toyotas from city to city. And we clearly have the capability to hit them with drones. We’ve been doing it for 20 years. We could have crippled the Taliban to a point from which they’d never recover.
So why didn’t we literally rain Hellfire down upon them?
It’s because apparently it does take more than half a brain to follow the plan.
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