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I’m a heterosexual white male. Which means no one cares what I think. I’m not allowed to be offended by anything. Nobody wants to hear me bitch. But I’m going to anyway.
I have a problem with the “C word”. Not “the big C” as in Cancer, though that’s bad for its own set of reasons and not the “C word” as in “C U Next Tuesday”.
The “C word” I have a problem with is “cis”. I’m talking about “cis” as in “cisgender”, “cis male” and “cis female”.
According to Wikipedia, “Cisgender (sometimes cissexual, or shortened to cis) describes a person whose gender identity matches their sex assigned at birth”. In other words, a cis-male is the opposite of a trans-male.
But that would only be true if male doesn’t actually mean what male actually means. Because the opposite of male, is female.
It wouldn’t be the first time that a word was ruined in the name of progressiveness.
I used to know a guy who was gay. Oops. Sorry. I misspoke. What I should have said was I used to know a guy whose name was Gaye. He’s my age which means he was named back in the early 60’s. It wasn’t until the mid-60’s when the term “gay” became a popular synonym for a male homosexual.
I have to imagine that if his parents were aware of what was just around the corner, they would have named their son something else. But they weren’t so they didn’t.
So, my poor friend Gaye had to grow up with a name that sounds exactly like the newly-popular term for something he definitely wasn’t. That would really suck. No pun intended.
And now they’re trying to ruin the word “male” by calling me a “cis-male”.
Apparently, as a straight male, I’m supposed to roll over and accept this new label the Left wants to place on me. But this doesn’t affect just men. It affects women too. I was listening to a commercial this morning and it started out, “are you a cis-woman concerned with thinning hair?” I keep expecting to hear a commercial for product that will help with “trans pattern baldness”.
Give me a break. I don’t want to be called “cis” anything. We have a perfectly good word to describe me. That word is “male”. And, if you’re a woman, we have a perfectly good word to describe you. That word is “female”.
Now, don’t get me wrong, if you’re a man who wants to pretend to be a woman, or a woman pretending to be a man, we do need a term to describe you. But you’re not allowed to create a word that describes you by changing the word that describes me. That dog won’t hunt.
I was able to find a partial list of “genders”. Included on that list is agender, bigender, intersex, genderqueer, mx., transgender, third gender, two-spirit and the apparently-COVID-inspired “gender variant”. Also on that list is “cisgender”. Which, supposedly, describes me.
No thank you very much. Do not try to lump me in with a bunch of delusional looneys. I’ll stick with male.
Like I said the list was only partial. Because as you know, there are an infinite number of genders. Well, some people believe that, and they want the rest of us to believe that too.
But I don’t. Because there isn’t.
As you know, I’m a problem solver. When I see something that needs fixing, I’m going to find a solution. It’s just like when I coined the term “glibtaq”. I saw something that needed improvement and I made it better. So, I’m going to end the gender argument once and for all.
There are three genders. That’s right. Three.
Now, don’t freak out. Allow me to explain.
First, there are the two traditional genders, male and female. Those refer to people who were born with their parts and plumbing in the right places and who think they’re the gender they actually are. It does not include someone who believes they’re either male or female due to some mental disease or defect.
The other gender is “abby”. That’s abby as in “abby something…abby…normal”.
Now, if you want to make subcategories of abby, go right ahead. For example, someone might be a trans-abby-male or a non-binary-abby-male (I guess the correct term would be simply “non-binary-abby”). I have no problem with that.
The order of the hyphen could also be reversed. So, “abby-male” would become “male-abby” which could be shortened to “mabby”. “Abby-female” would be “fabby” and our non-binary friend could be “babby”. A hermaphrodite would be a “habby”. See? It works on so many levels.
Problem solved. You’re welcome.
My solution is infinitely expandable and can cover any type of abby subcategory you can think of. It offends the least number of people possible. Everyone should be on board with. That is, unless your name happens to be Abigail.
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