Joe Biden and his team attended the opening of the 2021 Climate Summit in Glasgow, Scotland this week. He brought along 800 of his closest advisers. In doing so, he has made his first real accomplishment since taking office in January.
Whitehouse Deputy Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre explains:
“As you know, Jen is out with COVID, or what we like to call ‘having a Biden vacation’. I was putting together the itinerary for the trip and realized that we were on the verge of something great.”, she said. “Once I had the 600 people I would consider to be absolutely essential set up with travel arrangements, I knew we could do it. After I had everyone booked for the event, I called the Guinness people to confirm.”
Guinness World Record spokesman Gordon Shumway, did indeed, confirm what she thought. Biden’s 800-person entourage smashed the world record for the most Biden supporters in one place at the same time. The previous record was 18, set at a campaign rally back before the election.
“We were thrilled!”, continued Jean-Pierre, “To be part of an historic event is not something everyone gets to do.”
When asked to explain why Biden had to travel with the Whitehouse groundskeeping staff, Jean-Pierre answered: “To be honest, we probably didn’t need the extra 200 people in Glasgow, but I’m sure that America will understand it’s vital to show to the world that the President is making real progress in areas that matter.”
Shumway also confirmed that Biden’s 85-vehicle entourage in Rome this week broke the record for the longest Biden motor convoy. The previous record of three vehicles was set in December of last year in Lima, Ohio. However, Shumway pointed out that both records are still being disputed because Biden had to pay his “supporters” to attend the events.
But Biden and his team aren’t done yet. Jean-Pierre said that before they head home, they’re also hoping to rent a boat to break the record for the largest Biden flotilla. “It’s nearly a given that the record will be broken this weekend”, she said, “since the folks at Guinness have informed us that the current record is holding firm at zero boats.”
Follow-up questions sent to the Biden Administration weren’t immediately answered. That’s probably because they’re all in Scotland.
Note: This is satire. The numbers are correct but the reasons behind them aren’t. Well, they might be the real reasons. We have no idea why Biden needed to travel with that many people.
You can listen to The PonkaBlog Podcast for free at PonkaBlog.com and on Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Spotify, Amazon Music, Rumble and Stitcher. Just search for PonkaBlog wherever you get your podcasts and subscribe today!
Did you know I publish a new article several times a week? I’ve started getting noticed by social media. Which, as you know, for a Conservative is never a good thing. I highly recommend you sign up for my free newsletter. That way you won’t miss anything the next time social media censors what I write.
