Last summer, my friend, who happens to be black… Hang on, I forget, is the color of a person’s skin not supposed to matter at all, or is it the only thing that matters? I can’t remember which it is these days. I get so confused.
Anyway, my African-American friend…well, I can’t really call him that either because he’s from…you know…America. I only call him African-American when I’m trying to piss him off, which it always does. And I can’t call him Afro-American because even I can see that might be offensive. Unless we’re supposed to judge someone by the style of their hair and not the content of their character…I know it goes something like that.
Let’s try again…my colored friend. What? I can say “person of color”, but I can’t say “colored”? They’re the same damn thing!
I know what let’s do. Let’s ignore his color entirely because it’s not relevant. Which is what I wanted to do in the first place, but then I got caught up in the whole Liberal “being white is bad” bullshit.
Like I said, it doesn’t matter what race he is. Let’s continue.
Last summer, a friend of mine got sick. He Skyped me after he was on the mend. The illness lasted about two weeks and was, as he tells the story, pretty bad.
Now, before I continue, I want to say that we didn’t Skype because we were afraid of COVID and were practicing the whole “social distancing” horseshit. We were Skyping because he lives about two and a half hours from here on a good day.
Anyway, I asked him if he had COVID. His response, “We’ll never know”.
Because he hadn’t gotten tested. During what I had mistakenly hoped at the time was the height of the COVID panic, he was exhibiting all the “classic” symptoms of COVID (in other words, he was alive) and yet he didn’t bother getting tested. You see, my friend has never bought into the overhyped fear of COVID, so he had no interest in knowing if he had it.
How dare he?
I’ve been tested for COVID antibodies lots of times. But not once did I get tested because I wanted to. The Red Cross used to test all donated blood, and I used to give blood every 4 months. I’ve had several snot-tests, but that’s only because it’s required to visit a doctor. All told, I’ve probably been tested for COVID about a dozen times. And every time, the results came back negative.
Which is why I didn’t bother getting tested this past week.
A couple of weeks ago, I was informed by my neighbor that she had been exposed to someone who had subsequently tested positive for COVID. And, since I had spent time with her, I might have been exposed too.
This past week, I started feeling rundown, my blood pressure went up, my throat was a tiny bit scratchy, and my food didn’t taste quite right. On a scale from 1 to 10, I’d rate my symptoms about a 2. Maybe even a 1. I’ve had many, much worse colds.
Today, I’d say I’m feeling pretty good. Thanks for asking.
It might have been COVID, or it might have been something else. We’ll never know.
Because I didn’t get tested. Because having that information wouldn’t have had any impact on what I did. There’s no magical home remedy or regimen to follow if you have COVID. The advice is to treat it like you would the cold or flu, depending on the severity of your symptoms. And I can do that without knowing exactly which virus I’ve been infected with.
And also, I didn’t want to know. If I had COVID, and my employer found out, I’d have to provide a negative test before I could return to work. And I work from home.
The other day, I was reading an exchange between some of my coworkers. It was a group of virus-gullible, multi-vaxxed people. Someone had excitedly reported that a Walgreens near them had COVID tests in stock. Then a bunch of people jumped into the conversation and started trying to coordinate a mass purchase for everyone.
Now, if you’re one of my regular followers, you’ll know I don’t like to judge people. But I’ll make an exception in this case. What a bunch of morons.
I can understand them trying to pool together their money to buy a lottery ticket but not for COVID test kits. Because the chances of one of them winning something in the lottery is greater than the chance of one of them becoming seriously ill from COVID.
My wife told me about someone she works with. This person said she had a tickle in her throat and was going to run out and buy a COVID test. I’m going to bend my “don’t judge people” rule one more time. What an idiot.
Let’s say you get tested and it comes back positive. So what? It’s not like you can run out and get a home treatment for COVID. Whether or not you know you have COVID won’t impact how you treat your symptoms.
Being tested for COVID has no practical benefit. The only thing the knowledge of whether or not you have COVID is going to do is let you know why you’re eating chicken soup. It’s not going to have any impact on how much soup you eat. And it’s not going to have any effect on anything else you do either.
Even if I knew that I had COVID, I wouldn’t change my behavior. I wouldn’t self-quarantine. Not even a little bit. If I felt well enough, I’d still go to the grocery store and Home Depot. And you would too.
How can I be so sure?
Because most people suck. Which means there’s a pretty good chance that you suck too. And that means that you’re not going to let a little thing like a positive COVID test keep you from going to a concert, getting a haircut, or running errands. Even if you know you have COVID, if you’re feeling well enough to leave your house, then that’s what you’ll do.
People don’t get tested for COVID because they’re concerned about the wellbeing of others.
It’s not like someone who tests positive is all of a sudden going to become as virtuous as they’re signaling they are by taking a COVID test. If that were the case, then I wouldn’t see so many people fucking around with their phone when they’re behind the wheel of their car. There is no difference between going to the store when you’re sick and taking Instagram photos or texting while driving. And tons of people do that.
Being armed with the knowledge that they’re COVID positive is not going to change anybody’s behavior. Anyone who decides that they’re not quite too drunk to drive is also likely to decide that they’re not quite sick enough to have to stay home.
Joe Biden…well, the American taxpayers…have just purchased a billion COVID-19 test kits. They’re going to mailed directly to American households. I’m going to do with those tests the same thing I did with the masks that were mailed to me. I’m going to throw them away.
Because knowing whether or not I have COVID isn’t going to help me or anyone else. A positive COVID test isn’t going to change anyone’s behavior. So what’s the point in taking the test at all?
The truth is, all this non-stop COVID testing has no practical benefit. There’s only one thing that COVID tests do. They make already-scared people even more afraid…so they buy more tests.
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