Two and a half years ago, I coined the term “glibtaq” (pronounced glib-tack). Glibtaq is simply an anagram of the term LGBTQIA. My reasoning for needing a new term was that they kept adding letters, seemingly at random, and expecting everyone to play along. And that’s just not a sustainable strategy.
I really thought glibtaq was going to spread like wildfire. But it didn’t. I may well be the only person in the world that uses it. However, as I predicted, the glibtaq community kept adding on letters.
Today, they’re at “LGBTQQIP2SAA” with no end in sight. And, just so you know, I did not make that up.
Just like it’s now illegal in some places to use the wrong pronouns for someone, it’s only a matter of time before some state passes a law making it illegal to not use every one of those letters, and any new ones they may add. Because not using all their letters in a very specific order will hurt their feelings.
When that happens, you could get cancelled or fired for not knowing they tacked on another letter while you were asleep.
And that’s not fair to those of us who don’t give a shit about their feelings.
So, as much as I hate to admit it, the term glibtaq probably isn’t going to work. But we still need an easy way to refer to the glibtaq community that won’t trigger them.
I’m here to help with that. But first, let’s talk a bit about mnemonics.
A mnemonic is a short phrase that helps you remember something. You may not have known it, but you likely started using mnemonics back in the first grade.
The vowels, AEIO and U, can be remembered by using the mnemonic, “Fat Ed is not up”. Each word contains one of the vowels. And, as an extra bonus, the vowels are listed in alphabetical order. Just like we were taught. I suspect though, today’s kids are taught something else since the mnemonic we grew up with would be banned for fat-shaming Ed.
“Every Good Boy Does Fine” is a mnemonic for remembering the lines on a musical staff (E G B D F) and the word “face” will help you remember the spaces between the lines (F A C E). And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the full extent of my knowledge of music.
But something I do know about is electronics. If you tear apart the old boom box that’s out in your garage collecting dust, you’ll likely see a circuit board that contains some cylindrical things with stripes of various colors. Those are resistors. And those stripes have a very specific meaning. They tell you how much resistance a resistor has, and the tolerance guaranteed by the manufacturer.
I’m not going to try to teach you how to read the colors. But, for our purposes, I will tell you what they are.
In order, the colors are:
Black, Brown, Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Violet, Gray and White. The three colors used to represent the tolerance are Gold, Silver and none. I guess that’s only two colors since “transparent” isn’t really a color. But having no tolerance color also has a specific meaning so we can’t ignore it.
Having to memorize all those colors in their proper order was a pain in the ass. It’s hard for anyone to remember BBROYGBVGWGSN. Luckily, there is a mnemonic to help with that. The first letter of each word in the mnemonic represents a color. It goes like this:
“Bad Boys Rape Our Young Girls, But Violet Gives Willingly. Get Some Now.”
That’s probably already been cancelled. But it was a huge help many decades ago when I was taught basic electronics. It’s also a great example of how useful a good mnemonic can be. I still remember it all these many years later.
In 1935, a guy named Bill Wilson started what is now known as “Alcoholics Anonymous”.
I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking I just had a stroke because of my drastic topic change. I assure you I didn’t and I’m still on track with what I’m trying to tell you. Hang in there. We’ll get to where we’re going.
As a way to help stay anonymous, and as a tribute to Bill Wilson, people in AA will sometimes refer to themselves as “a friend of Bill”. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the full extent of my knowledge of Alcoholics Anonymous. But, it’s also all we need to know to continue. Keep this little nugget of info fresh in your brain. We’ll get back to it later.
I promise this is all going to come together.
The gay pride flag has six colors. Nope. Still not a stroke.
I say “gay” pride flag because MY pride flag has three colors: Red, white and blue. But theirs has six. Their flag is sometimes referred to as “the rainbow flag”. MY flag is sometimes referred to as “Old Glory”. MY flag represents freedom. Their flag represents “the diversity of the LGBT community and the spectrum of human sexuality and gender”.
But I digress.
What I find strange about this…well…there are a lot of things I find strange about the glibtaq community. But what I particularly find strange is that a group who prides themselves on being inclusive, didn’t include all the colors of the rainbow in their rainbow flag that supposedly represents their pride.
Their rainbow flag contains the colors Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue and Violet. That’s six colors. Even more decades ago, when I was learning about colors, I was taught the colors in a rainbow are: Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo and Violet. That’s seven colors. Their flag doesn’t include indigo.
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. After all, can we really expect a group of people to be scientifically accurate when they believe men can become women? But just because they aren’t scientifically accurate, it doesn’t mean we can’t be.
Now, back to mnemonics.
As with the resistor color codes, there’s a handy mnemonic to help you remember ALL the colors in a rainbow. Just imagine you have a friend named Roy. More specifically, imagine you have a friend named Roy G. Biv.
That’s easy enough to remember, even for a kindergartner. Each letter of Roy’s name represents the first letter of each color in a rainbow. As an extra bonus, Roy G. Biv lists the colors from the lowest frequency to the highest. Just like we were taught.
I think you can see where I’m going with this.
The glibtaq community chose the rainbow as their symbol. And, if we use the scientifically-correct version, a rainbow has seven colors. And those seven colors can be remembered with the simple mnemonic of imagining you have a friend named Roy G. Biv.
So, I propose that the LGBTQQIP2SAA, and whatever other the hell letters they want to tack on, community simply be referred to as “a friend of Roy”.
And there you have it. I told you I’d get us here. I’ve created a (probably) non-offensive term that’s easy for everyone to remember and complements the symbolism the glibtaq community is already using. This is a win for everyone.
I give to you, and the world, the term “a friend of Roy”.
You’re welcome.
