The way we handle illegal immigration has a problem. OK. It has lots of problems, but I’m going to focus on one. The problem is that it unfairly puts the burden for paying for illegal immigration on people who don’t believe there should be any illegal immigration in the first place. I have an idea to fix that, and I think it’s a pretty good one. Here’s my pitch:
We need to “disrupt” the way we handle illegal immigration. Like Uber with transportation and UrbanSitter with childcare, we’re going to turn the illegal immigration industry on its ear. My plan is simple to execute and gives Biden supporters a chance to take a more participatory role in the process. It’s a win-win-win.
We’re going to change the business model for illegal immigration.
Biden and his team tackled the problem of illegal immigration as one of their first initiatives. We’ve had illegal immigration problems forever so that’s nothing new. But typically, when Presidents address the issue, their goal is to make things better.
The Biden Administration seems to have taken a different approach. From what I can see, their goal is to make things as bad as they could possibly be.
So, they removed practically all of the barriers that were stopping illegal aliens from flooding into this country. Now we’ve got hundreds of thousands of people coming here with scarcely more than “Biden Please Let Us In” tee-shirts they’re wearing. And they have no place to go.
Mission accomplished.
If I were going to suggest a brain-dead-simple plan for immigration (which is all Joe can understand), it would look something like this:
- Let people in.
- Do something with them.
Biden and his team seem to have nailed Step One. They’ve now got more illegal aliens than they know what to do with. Literally. They’ve got so many illegal aliens that the warehouses…excuse me… I mean “luxury detention centers”, they’re storing them in are overflowing. They have no Step Two.
Well, that’s not entirely true. They do have a Step Two.
Joe’s Step Two is: Out of sight, out of mind. Now it’s someone else’s problem.
They’re just bussing (and flying) the illegal aliens to random parts of the United States and dumping them off. ICE has been dropping off busloads of illegals at random places for years, so that’s nothing new. What has changed is the scale of the problem.
The Biden Immigration Plan forces the local communities to spend taxpayer dollars on taking care of the people that Joe Biden and his team decided need to be there. Well, technically they’re not forcing anyone to do anything. They’re relying on the goodwill of the people whose communities are receiving these new, and unwanted, “guests”.
But that’s not really fair. Because it’s quite likely that those local communities already had a plan for spending their hard-earned dollars. They probably wanted to spend that money on roads, utilities, education and helping the homeless. They were probably already planning on using their money and resources to help better the life of their own citizens. And, you know, other frivolous things.
We need a way to determine where to drop off the illegal aliens. There should be some criteria that determines where the busses stop and the planes land. The aliens should be dropped off where the local communities can carry the burden without sacrificing the quality of life for their own citizens.
All we need to do is find places with great infrastructure, where all students are excelling, and there is no homeless problem. The drop-off locations should also have their drug problem solved and crime should virtually nonexistent.
But that’s still not fair. Because even if such communities existed, clearly not everyone within those communities voted for Joe Biden or support his “Immigration Plan”. And, those people who don’t support this poorly-thought-out “plan” don’t deserve to suffer for it.
So, here’s the idea I promised you. My idea is going to revolutionize the way we handle illegal immigration. It’s going to be great!
The fair way to handle this would be to put the burden of caring for the illegal aliens on those people who think the Biden Plan is a good idea. Instead of dropping people off in random communities, ICE should drop off an illegal alien or two on the doorstep of anyone who either voted for Joe Biden or supports his immigration policy.
Think of it as a kind of Airbnb for illegal aliens. I call it “Fairbnb”. It would be up to the hosts to provide room, board, education and healthcare for their guests (and handle any other associated costs). But there would be no government reimbursement for expenses. The expense of caring for their guests would be entirely the hosts’ burden.
I’ll even take it a step further. With Airbnb, the home owners are ultimately responsible for any damage done by their guests. With Fairbnb, the hosts would be held liable for any crimes committed by they’re hosting. If you’re a host, and your guest commits a crime, they get deported, and you go to jail. No one who believes that other countries are “sending their best” should have a problem with this.
To have a truly fair solution, we need to make the people responsible for this mess also be responsible for shouldering the burden of this mess. If you’re OK with the Biden’s immigration policy, then you should also be OK with paying for it. And, you should be OK with being held accountable for the actions of the people that have been let into our country illegally.
So, now that you’ve heard my pitch for Fairbnb, who wants to go first?
